Jokes: Of Kittycons and others
by BlackDragonsSoul
Summary: Here are some Jokes, soem are in the kittycon World some aren't
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, This story is gonna be about...Jokes...Yeah...Thats kinda all what I have to say ^^;**

You have to be born to laugh...  
Otherwise you wouldn't know how to!

:_:

A poor family is for the first time in a mall, while the mother was looking at some clothes a father with his son are standing in front of a metallic door which opend to a small room.  
"Father what is that?"  
The Father: "I have no idea son."

The both watch as an old lady walks into the room, the doors close, both Father and son watch as some small numbers over the doors light up:  
1-2-3-2-1  
As the doors open again, a super hot blond woman walks out of the room.  
Father:" QUICK SON; GET YOUR MOTHER!"

:_:

Ironhide wants to Join the army, There he has to do a seeing test:

Teacher: can you read the letters off the wall?  
Ironhide: What wall?

:_:

Swindle: Theose new shoes ight hurt a bit for the first few days.  
Ying-Yang: It doesn't matter, I was going to wear them next week.

:_:

Grimlock and Perceptor were sitting beside eachother in the train. Perceptor was bored and he thought that he could earn smoe easy mony from Grimlock.

Perceptor: Grimlock, would you like to play a Game? We both aks eachother Questions and if one doesn't know the answer he get 5 credits.

Grimlock: Me Grimlock, no want to play game.

Perceprtor: okay how about this: If You don't know the answer you get 50 Credits, I still get 5 okay?

Grimlock then says yes to the game. Perceptor starts off and askes a long and pretty complicated question, Grimlock of course doent know the answer, so he gives Perceptor 5 credits.

Grimlock: Me Grimlock want to know: What has 4 legs when it walks up the mountain and only three when it climbs down?

Perceptor thinks long and hard, but he couldn't answer the question, so he gives Grimlock 50 credits, which Grimlock takes and turns around again.

Perceptor: Wait! Whats the answer?

Grimlock turns around and gives Perceptor 5 credits...

:_:

Megatron comes into a store and askes  
"Who sold my wife for an Hour Glue instead of Toothpaste?"  
at first no one said anything then an smaller Kittycon said that it was her fault  
Megatron walks over to her gives her 10 credits and says  
"Thank you!"

:_:

Tracks: and how is it with the new Optics?  
Scrapper: Never felt better, I'm seeing people I haven't seen in a long time!

:_:

The Friends go home late:  
Cliffjumper: I hope we didn't stay too long  
Blurr: Ohnoyoudidn'twealwaysgetupatthistime!

:_:

At the baker:

Bangaa: I would like to have 99 rolls!  
Ifrit: Why don't you buy 100?  
Bangaa: Are you crazy? Who should eat all of them?  
:_:

SilverStorm and Optimate are at the movies. In the movie you can see how a cowboy is riding towards a cactus, then the lights go on.  
SilverStorm: Wanna bet that the Cowboy is gonna ride into the cactus?  
Optimate: I don't think that the Cowboy is that dumb  
They both say that after the movie the would go and eat something and that the loser would have to pay.  
SilverStorm wins the bet. The both go and have something to eat, but befor they would have to pay  
SilverStorm: I have to tell youu something, the bet wasn't fair I've already seen the movie befor. I knew that the Cowboy would ride into the cactus.  
Optimate: And? I've seen the movie 5-times now, but I wouldn't have thought that that idiot would ride into the cactus again!

:_:

Love: Damn Freddy you've Changed  
Michael: But my Name isn't Freddy  
Love: WHAT! you've changed your name too!

:_:

Slope is on holiday

Slope: umm excuse me? If I go stright the take a left is there the train station?  
Guy: Yup, But it's there even if you don't go like that.

:_:

Ying-Yang: and how was you Holiday Blitzwing?  
Blitzwing: Great! we were in Berlin at the North see!  
Ying-Yang: But the North see isn't near Berlin!  
Blitzwing: Ohh so thats why it was so far to the beach!

:_:

Mixmaster to Scrapper: 'Ey do you know "Bert"?  
Scrapper: What "Bert"?  
Mixmaster: Camenbert  
Scrapper: Oh man

It goes on for days like that, one day Scrapper come home and sits down totally defeted.  
Ying-Yang: Whats wrong?  
Scrapper: It Mix every day her come over to me and askes if i know "Bert". And If I aks "what Bert" he says "Camenbert", Then I always say "Oh man"  
Ying-Yang: Well why don't you aks if he know "alert"? When he askes "What alert?" You say "Red alert", then it's his turn to say "Oh man"  
Scrapper is happy. The next day he walks up to Mixmaster  
Scrapper: 'Ey Mix Do you know "Alert"?  
Mixmaster: Is that the sister of "Bert"?  
Scrapper: What "Bert"?  
Mixmaster: Camenbert  
Scrapper: Oh man

:_:

Bublebee to Bulkhead: Why are you planting Blades to your potatoes?  
Bulkhead: I wanna grow Potato-Chips


	2. Chapter 2

**Noticed that I forgot the disclamer alst time...Oh well**

**Disclamer: I own Nothing...'Cept for what I own**

**:_:**

As God/Jashin/Primus said that there shall be Light,...  
We had already laid the lines  
:_:

Soundwave Inc. There is a new worker at the assembly line and Soundwave would like to know how it is going with him.

Soundwave: Inquery: How is the new worker?  
Kittycon: He's starting to get on my nerves with his endless: "Oh here comes another one of those things..."

:_:

Mixmaster and Dirtboss are talking

Mixmaster: Whats the difference between the brig and our work?  
Dirtboss: I have no idea  
Mixmaster: Easy in the brig you know WHEN you're gonna be released

:_:

Megatron To his secretery Shockwave  
Megatron: Wright "strictly confidential" On the top...I want that everybody reads it

:_:

Megatron Calls his new worker Steve to him  
Megatron: Steve, since you've been here you've worked yourself to the bone, but you've never asked for a rise. I Have a question:  
What kind of dirty tricks are you pulling here?

:_:

Two mechs are talking  
Optimus: Hey did you hear? Our Boss died  
BumbleBee: Yeah and I'm still trying to figure out who else died  
Optimus: What do you mean, with him?  
BumbleBee: well in the paper stood: "with him one of your most important workers died..."

:_:

Ying-Yang asking his Brother  
Ying-Yang: Hey Megatron, can my son work for you? He's looking for a job  
Megatron: What did he learn?  
Ying-Yang: Nothing...  
Megatron: Great! Then we don't have to teach him all over again!

:_:

Scrapper wants to have a raise  
Scrapper: Don't you think that my payment doesn't fit to of what I do?  
Dirtboss: You're right, But I can't let you starve


	3. Chapter 3

"The license plate is blocking the Entrance"  
Water in the carburetor and other misschances

:_:

A Call during a meeting:  
"Would the driver of the car with the license plate:  
KS-ML 346991026483926754964, drive their car away,...  
The license plat is blocking the entraince!"

:_:

Love to Opal:  
Love: For over 50 years the didn't have cars, the needet for 50km 1 day.  
Opal: and? What did they do in that time?  
Love: They invebted the cars and made so many that because of the holdups you need for 50km again 1 day.

:_:

On an new years evening, Prowl is stopping a car because it is driving in the wrong direction:

Prowl: Where are you off to?  
Wheeljack: Not sure, but I must be late, Everybody else is already going home!

:_:

Arcee: My car is brocken it has water in it's carburetor  
Optimus: Water in the carburetor? Thats not possible.  
Arcee: I'm telling you it has water in it's carburetor!  
Optimus: okay, Okay, I'll take a look at it. Where is it?  
Arcee: In the Pool!

:_:

Starscream to SilverStorm:  
Starscream: SilverStorm! take a look outside and tell me what was that for a crashing sound?  
SilverStorm: Oh somebot just took a left turn.  
Starscream: But you can't turn left here!  
SilverStorm: Thats why you heard the crashing noise!


	4. Chapter 4

The 7 last words of the church:  
"We have always done it like that!"

:_:

In front of a Jashin-temple is a poster written on it stands:  
"Do you know what is Hells Torture?"  
written under that with a marker:  
"If no then come and listen to the orgel player!"

:_:

Ying-Yang to Megatron:  
Ying-Yang: Brother why do you have a blue optic?  
Megatron: Well as we said during our prayer:  
"And save us from all evil!.." I coinsadly looked at my mother-in-law.

:_:

Mask is walking through the park yelling:  
"NOW I CAN WALK; NOW I CAN WALK!"  
A priest is trying to stop him, after a few trys, he made it and askes:  
Silver: Son did a wonder happen to you?  
Mask: No, someone stole my Bike!

:_:

A priest is going to Love to talk about his mental state:  
Love: Do you talk in your sleep?  
Silver: no I only talk whil others sleep!

:_:

At the see Genezareth, a few tourists want to be taken to the other side.  
The Ship-Drive costs 10$  
Jason: Pretty expensive.  
Swindle: But think about it. Our lord walked over this see!  
Jason: I would've done the same with thiese prices.

:_:

Silver is holding a very long sermon, in the middle of it a man gets up and walks away.  
Silver: HALT! Where are you going?  
Bangaa: I'm going to get my hair cut!  
Silever: Why couln't you have done that befor?  
Bangaa: I didn't have to before

:_:

SilverStorm and Zippy are camping, in the missle of the night SliverStorm wakes up and askes Zippy:  
SilverStorm: Zippy? What can you see?  
Zippy: I can see stars  
SilverStorm: And what does that mean?  
Zippy: Well seeing it out of the astronomicle sight: it tells me that there are millions of Stars and planets yet to be found.  
Seeing it Astroloicle I can say that the planet Saturn is in the Lion.  
See it in the time I can say that it's 3:15 a.m.  
Seeing it Theologicale I can say that Primus is the most mightyest thing of all, and that we don't mean anything.  
And seeing it in the form of weather I can say that tomorrow it will be a beautyful day.  
What does it tell you?  
SilverStorm is quiet for a bit then he says:  
SilverStorm: Zippy you Idiot, Someone stole our Tent!


	5. Chapter 5

"Daddy talks to much with his hands!"  
How children think

:_:

Rumble and Frenzy come into a store:  
Rumble: Our Father fell into a beehive...  
Swindle: Oh well then you must need creme?  
Frenzy: ...No colour Film!

:_:

During a walk, the three year old SilverStorm:  
SilverStorm: oh no, I stepped into a very bad word!

:_:

Blurr: Go and talk to your father about your Grades!  
Zippy: No thank you Mommy, Daddy talks to much with his hands!

:_:

Tracks and Soundwave got twins. As Tracks came home Desteny was waiting for him:  
Desteny: Mommy! I told my teacher about my new brother and got to go home!  
Tracks: Why didn't you tell her that you got two?  
Desteny: I'm not Dumb! I'm saving the other one for next week!

:_:

The Five-year old SilverStorm is allowed to sit in a plane-cockpit, he sits down and watches. Time flies:  
Kaptain: And do you also want to become an piolet one day?  
SilverStorm: I don't but my brother, the dumb-Lazyaft!

:_:

The mother-in-law is over for a visit. The five- year old Thundercracker:  
Thundercracker: How long are you going to stay?  
Mother-in-Law: Untill I start to annoy you.  
Thundercracker: What? that short!

:_:

Megatron ,after Slipstream was born, to Thundercracker:  
Megatron: TC! Would you like to meet you little sister whom the crane brought?  
Thundercracker: Later, show me the crane first!

:_:

EarthBound ahd never said a word. Now he is 12. One night during Dinner  
EarthBound: Salt please  
Scrapper: uhh W-what! Why didn't you talk sooner?  
EarthBound: I didn't need to till now...

:_:

Starscream goes outside and sees his son Dirge in the grass crying:  
Starscream: Dirge! Why are you crying?  
Dirge: Daddy hit himself with a Hammer!  
Starscream: aww, but you don't have to cry becouse of that!  
Dirge: I know. I was lauging at first though...

:_:

Infront of the Kindergarden a paar of Gloves were found.  
Arcee: Whos Gloves are these?  
Optimate: Funny, They look like, mine! but that can't be, mine are gone!


	6. Chapter 6

"In The morning They are always Right and in the midday the have free!"

:_:

Arcee: Your Presentaiton, was really Bad  
Desteny: Yeh, My Presentaition wasn't as good as your's, but when I Talked, everybot knew about what.

:_:

The Class is going on a Class trip. On a field the teacher doesn't know how to go on.  
On a field, beside some Cows was a Direction Sign, so he walks over to it.  
At the same time Bulkhead comes pass and asks the children:

Bulkhead: Hey Kids, What are ya doing here? Where is you Teacher?  
Rumble: Our Teacher is over there in the Field...  
Frenzy: Ou Teacher is the one with that Hat!

:_:

Arcee: Good hearing is my weak-point, but weak seeing is my strong point

:_:

Warpeth: Why did I call you a small Idiot?  
SilverStorm: 'cause I'm not as tall as you Warpeth.

:_:

The Sports Teacher:  
"Okay Kids, its time for Diving. And if you don't come back up after six minuets, you get an F!"

:_:

The teacher is nearly driven mad:

Arcee: I told you yesterday, that Two halfs are always the same size! But of course the bigger Half of you Doesn't get that!

:_:

Arcee: Childern, What kind of muscles are activated if I box?  
Slipstream: My Laugh Muscles!

:_:

Teacher: What is light?  
Ying-yang: Something that you can see  
Teacher: oh Pit no! You can see me too, and I'm Not a damn Light!

:_:

Starscream to Thundercracker:  
Starscream: Why do you all call your Teacher "appendix"?  
Thundercracker: Cause, He's always chippy and we don't need him!

:_:

There is a huge Fight in a Resterant. The worst of the group is a Young Mech.  
Tourist: Who Is that mech over there?  
Megatron: Oh Thats our new teacher. He's trying to be a kiss-an-ass, to us.

:_:

Sports Teacher:  
"Okay get in a Row:  
Alphabetcle, after Heght!"

:_:

Oral Certificateassay. The teacher is always butting in to a scholor, who know very well about his matieral, but can't speak correctly.  
The scholar wants to prove that he's not an idiot and tries to always continue where he stopped at.  
The teacher Doesn't like that one Bit:  
Warpeth: Would you Stop talking, when I'm butting in?

:_:

The school is giving a play. Not only students were in the play, but Teachers, too.  
The next day in the Cybertronian News:

"It was amazing how Arcee played the nice Lady. She wasn't to be reconized"

:_:

Teacher: Starscream Do you knw why my head gets red if I Stand on it?  
Starscream: Yes sir, It turns red because the energon is running into an empty room!

:_:

Teacher: You should be ashamed of your self! As i was in your age I never lied!  
Tracks: and when did you start?

:_:

The Math Theacher: why can I say that all of the points are on one line?  
Wheeljack: Easy, 'cause ya the Math teacher!

:_:

The teacher calls up Tracks who doesn't know anything.  
In a whispering tone beside Tracks  
Ying-Yang: The new teacher is sucha dumb cow  
Teacher: YING-YANG! Be quiet, Trcks nows that without your Help!

:_:

The Math Teacher is furios:  
Teacher: I'm Sorry but one of us is A huge Idiot!

The next day Ying-Yang, comes to the teacher with a piece of paper  
Teacher: What is this?  
Ying-Yang: An attest from my Vet That I'm completly normal...

:_:

Mirage to His teacher:  
"I don't like how you work either , but Have I ever told that to your Parents?"

:_:

Megatron in the first Class:  
Megatron: Teacher? What are idiots? Are those animals?  
Teacher: Noo, Those are Mechs, like you and me!

:_:

The teacher To his Students:  
"And rember kids, To always look right into the optics of your enemys...Soundwave? Why are you staring like that at me?"

:_:

Teacher: Soundwave? Did you just laugh?  
Soundwave: Apologies. Fact: was thinking os something Funny!  
Teacher: So? well then write behind your ears: We don't think in School!

:_:

Teacher: How do you call aperson who asks questions, to which nobot has an answer?  
SilverStorm: Teachers!

:_:

Teacher: Optimus when are the days the longest?  
Optimus: At the end of the month,  
Teacher: Hmm, By you too Huh?

:_:

Teacher: Tell me a sentince  
Megatron: There are less children.  
Teacher: that isn't a sentince, That's a Katastroph!

:_:

The new Teacher is introducing himself:  
Teacher: My Name is BronzeWind, There is nothing with more power or what is more valuable then me. Now Tell me your names! You! What is your Name?  
?: My name is SilverStorm...


	7. Chapter 7

Why of course you can lay eggs, but I can't  
Or  
Every School-minute has 30 horrorseconds

Arcee puts her hat on the table and tells the children:  
Arcee: Okay I want you to write a short essay about my hat.  
After 5 breems:  
SilverStorm: Miss? Do you write "ugly" with one "l" or two?

_

Scrapper to his 6-vorn old son:  
Scrapper: And? How do you like your new teacher?  
EarthBound: *She's okay but she has no Sex-Appeal*

_

DeathWing had viseted the sick teacher, the next day he tells his school mates:  
DeathWing: There's no hope! She's coming back tomorrow!

_

Warpath: Tracks? What is a "miracle"?  
Tracks: My mother says it would be a miracle, if you wouldn't bond to the new teacher.

_

Alpha Trion: Sphinx! Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Comeing to school with such dirty neck-cables. What would you say if I came into the class like that?  
Spinx: I would siply ignore it.

_

Deathwing asks Desteny:  
DeathWing: Do you think that our teacher is going to go to heaven one day?  
Desteny: Pff, where are you thinking? That Dragon won't be able to fly over 200 meters!

_

Mixmaster took a squrrile to school once. But the little animale ran away from him. The whole class tried to catcht it, so it ran up into the skirt of the teacher:  
Teacher: HELP! GET THIS THING AWAY FROM ME!  
Mixmaster: Don't worry miss, it'll come out from it's own, as soon as it notices that there aren't any nuts down there.

_

Optimus always says you to his teacher. So that he won't ever do it again, the teacher tells him, to write fifty-times "I won't say 'you' to my teacher".  
The next day, Optimus gives his teacher what he wrote:  
Teacher: Optimus, you wrote it a hundert times!  
Optimus: Oh well, you're worth the trouble, Miss.

_

Soundwave to his teacher:  
Soundwave: Inquery: What has eight legs, a yellow back and green eyes?  
Teacher: I don't know ,what is it?  
Soundwave: Thing: Unknown. Fact: Is crawling up you back...

_

Arcee: What do you want to be when you're grown up?  
Sphinx: If I have a good frame, I want to become a model. If not, then I want to be a teacher.

_

Tracks: is it true that you fiancé is a teacher?  
Thundercracker: Not anymore, evertime I was late to our date, I had to have a written excuse from my parents with me.

_

Arcee overhears how some student were using a very bad curse.  
Arcee: Rumble! Frenzy! I don't want to hear either of you ever use that word again! You don't even know what it means!  
Rumble: Of course we know what it means.  
Freanzy: It means that dads car won't start in the morning

_

Arcee: What is a Comet?  
No one knows the answer.  
Arcee: What is shiny, and flies through the sky with a long tail, following it?  
Class: PILOT!

_

Teacher: What do you think is below a rope bridge?  
Megatron: Water, Miss.

_

A teacher to Starscream  
Teacher: Your homework is getting better. Is your father getting help?

_

The teacher had told the childern about the symbolistic meanings of the colors. Starscream has to tell them what he learned, but he wasn't listening correctly.  
He still ties:  
Starscream: Blue is the loyalty, green is the hope, white is the...  
Teacher: There! If you had paied better attetion you would have heard that white is the innocence!  
Starscream: Well, you can't keep everthing, for long...

_

The teacher is teaching her class the ABC.  
Arcee: Optimate a word with "A".  
Optimate: Apple  
Arcee: Good, EarthBound. A word with "B".  
EarthBound: *Bubble*  
Arcee: Very Good. SilverStorm, a word with "C"  
SilverStorm: Church.  
It goes on till she come to Desteny. She's fearing the worst, so she oversees him, and goes on with the next child. Desteny's turn is with the letter "Z"  
Desteny: Zebra, but with a small one. 'Cause ya didn't let me say something with "F".

_

Megatron: Miss? Could I have a picture of you?  
Teacher: A picture of me? Why?  
Megatron: Well you know, my dad like to collect pictures of natural catastrophes.


End file.
